At the moment im going through my steps. Im planning out everything im doing in stages, even the simple things like what order shall i dry my hair and body after a shower. Its how i focus on the now. Its how i stop myself constantly analysing every thought in my head.

Im working nearly 7 days a week just so im busy. So i have to get out of the house and i have to remain looking slightly like a normal human being. Im not even tired, or im not letting myself feel the feeling of tiredness. One foot after the other one step after the other. Im taking every day as it comes and not looking too far forward. Im focusing on what im doing in the now.

On the way home from work i take five minutes just to look at the river. I try really hard not to think of anything but the water and the occasional fish! I dont know if this is the best way of dealing with things but it is working at the moment. Being ‘next on the list’ for so many months means i have to find my own ways of coping.


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