Weightless

Yesterday i had a good day. The best i have had for as long as i could remember. I went to see my nurse A in the morning. and i had said to myself the night before that i really wanted to concentrate on relaxing and saying what i wanted to say in the best way possible for her to understand. And it went well, i didnt leave trying not to cry because i just didnt understand the mess i was in. Thats never happened before!

Then i went to work at my new job in a cafe and it was a bit stressful because i dont know exactly what im doing and i hate doing things wrong or being slow but even tho i felt out of control sometimes i was able to totally manage it. It helps that my boss is really nice! I ended up walking home in the sun and it took about 40 mins but that didnt bother me i could just relax and take in the beautiful scenery on the way home. I felt great pride in where i was and gratitude for being in such a beautiful place.

Then there was no arguing at home (well hardly any) and i just chilled and watched tv. I seem to be really tired when i come home from work but i think thats a good thing as it means i sleep better and still make myself get up early to try and enjoy the best part of the day. Early morning when everyone is quiet and i cant just sit and breath.

When i saw A one of the things we talked about was thinking. She suggested i try to think less about the big stuff and try to think about the small stuff. Which is hard but makes a different. When i feel over whelmed i just breath, ground myself and look at the problem again.

I feel like im in the run up to a wobble but im putting it of as much as possible! I just dread how much im going backwards.

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