I just don’t know what to do with myself. I’m dwindling near the edge of the crash, I can sense it. I wish the NHS dealt with this sort of thing better. I wish people did in general.
If someone asked me if I was ill i dont even thing id say yes. But I am.
If i started with well i am yes because i have an imbalance of hormones and chemicals in my brain so it changes how I as a person react to things, then it may seem more acceptable.
Which is silly because that is what it is. I wouldnt make it up, i dont think anyone would wish it on anyone else because its horrible. It takes over your life, your every thought. Its boring, tiring, lonely, heavy, feeling no one wants to feel. But I feel them constantly every moment of everyday. From when im chatting to the bus driver to when im sat at a family meal. And no one every knows. Its sad how the stigma really effects people.
I know the only people who can change that really are the people who are ill, who talk out and make others understand, because with out this i don’t think a random person would get it. Im so accepting of anyone else with mental health issues but i’m not with myself.
Im weak. I wish i could be strong.