3 surgery’s, 3 years, and my knee still isn’t great!
I had a horrible realisation yesterday. I was in the kitchen with my mum and sister and I had tied her up in her dressing gown and the only way for her to get away was to kick back really hard into my leg. Thankfully it was my good leg because she used a hell of a lot of force. Mum shouts ‘don’t do that you will hurt her leg’. I said ‘it was my good leg, don’t worry if it had been my bad i think it would have actually bent backwards’. Mum looks concerned ‘really? have you not got all the strength back yet’ ‘nah’ i say ‘it will never be like my other one’.
At this point i had to leave the room. I felt like crying. I really believe that my leg is never going to be back to normal. And that is scary and sad. It makes me angry that if id had the correct surgery 1st not 3rd time then id be so much better, recovery would be better, and I will be so much better in the long run.
Its sad that one silly sports match playing a silly game for fun is gonna mean i cant do everything i could do with my leg for the foreseeable future.
It has effected the last three years of my life and i think it is gonna effect the next few! I cant do the job i want, i cant play the sport i want, i cant grow up the way i want because the choices i can make have dramatically diminished. And it hurts! Nearly all the time!
Its really quite depressing!