NY

New Years is a strange time. Is it celebrating a great year or is it being so thankful its over we celebrate the next year starting?

For me it was a journey. My whole family had gone to meet up down south and i was in charge or the dogs at home. I was alone for 3 days and 2 nights. The first day and night i was planning what to do on new years, my friends were trying to convince me to go out drinking but i felt so bad at that moment that i told them that it would be impossible because i cant leave the dogs. I felt horrible that night, the worst i have felt for a while. Maybe even the worst i have ever felt. I think my friends could sense it, they wanted to come see me but i said no, i still kinda hoped they would come anyway but they didnt. So i just drank and slept.

The next day was NYE i was working so it was pretty normal till about 6. I couldn’t decide what i should do i felt a bit ill so i wanted to just sleep but then i wanted to watch the new year in. 2016 has been pretty shit to be honest and i wanted to be able to say it was over. In the end i managed to convince myself to watch crappy tv until about 11.40 then for the last 20 mins of 2016 i sat outside my house in a field and i burnt all of the things i’ve written in my notebook, all of my messages of truth.

The new year came, i only knew because of the random fireworks in the distance. It came with a sense of relief that the massive shit storm of 2016 was over. I have 2 resolutions, i’m going to try and be more real, more truthful about my mess and i’m going to do some exercise every day.

I guess its easy to be optimistic now as its only been 1 day but hopefully its looking up because if its a year like 2016 then i don’t think i will see 2018, i don’t think i have the energy.

Happy New Year to everybody.

 

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