How I feel

I feel broken. Like i dont function in the same way others do. I feel sad for no reason and that feeling takes over everything. I feel lonely. I dont think my friends have abandoned me, they arent around because they have lives as well, uni, jobs other friends. But sometimes i think that they dont realise how i feel. I guess its my fault, i havent told them. But id like to think if it was the other way around i would be able to tell and id try and be a constant support. Maybe they think i am being silly, thats what i think but i dont always believe. Serves me right for constantly pretendinf to be fine. I dont know what id want them to do different but sometimes i just need a hug, which i know, is silly. I feel like they get on with their lives and have plans and im stuck. I guess i am jealous and annoyed. I want to be around friends. I just like being around people. Sometimes i want to babysit just so there are people around me, just so im not by myself. When im by myself i feel dark, thats the only way to describe it. I feel like someone turned off the lights and i am trying to run about. I just sit there feeling bad. Im so angry that i cant fix my head.

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