When you don’t feel well its easy to hide away, not really have a social life. It means you don’t need to pretend in front of other people, you don’t need to feel like the weird one. This last week I changed that. I decided to get out of my room and actually speak to people. Well I didn’t do anything massive I just started really talking to the people in my department. Just those little interactions made me laugh and smile so I kept on going, by day 5 I was going walking with some of them. We sat on top of a hill just after sunset and just talked, just about normal mundane stuff but I felt happy. They will never know how much the invitation meant to me.
People say just a smile or a kind word can turn someones day around. And its the truth. Its not just my day that has turned around though its my week. It changes how you think because you know you can enjoy something. I get up in the morning and I want to go into work. I worry that it will change soon when people start to find me boring, but they wont understand the massive step I’ve taken just to try and be involved. I’m just going to enjoy it while it lasts.
Its not easy getting out of a routine of being by yourself. I know. That has been my life for the last few years. But start small. Just have a conversation with someone about work, or the weather, everyone always talks about the weather. Just get familiar with someone so you are more comfortable. I mean you get the horrible moment when they ask ‘so why don’t you drink’ but just say its healthier for you! You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone. Just enjoy being in the company of others. Take the leap. And it will give you one more reason to keep fighting.
Because life is a fight.